The Truth
by BonesEmily1013
Summary: Following on from a little clip I saw last night regarding the Season 5 premiere. Rated T for safety.


'I love you'

Brennan's eyes were like saucers.

'I mean in an adda girl kinda way.' Booth shrugged it off as if his previous statement hadn't just blown the foundations of their partnership to bits. Brennan didn't process this part though. Her brain kept repeating his words over and over again, 'I love you'. No man had ever said that to her before and meant it, but this was Booth. He never said anything he didn't mean.

'Bones you ok?' Booth lowered his head so her eyes were level with his but Brennan wasn't really conscious of anything going on around her. Her world had just shattered. Her life before Booth was easy; she knew how to do that. How to survive, even with Angela as her best friend, she still depended on no one but herself regardless of how hard Angela had pushed for her to get a social life. Then came Booth. He broke down her walls, slowly at first, just chinking away at her armour until he saw a glimmer of the real her. They got closer, their workload and unsociable hours causing friction between any outsiders. They'd been accused of being more than just partners before by various different people but they'd always maintained that there was nothing more between them. It was slowly becoming less true as they got involved with each others personal lives; late nights doing paperwork, eating several meals together either at the diner or their prospective houses. Then his 'death'. It had nearly killed her (no pun intended). She had never felt the complete loss of a person since her parents disappeared. She was the lost little 15 year old again and she hated it. She managed to compartmentalise to the extent that she could do her job but at home in the safety of her room she wept. She wept for the deep sense of emptiness enveloping her life now that he wasn't there to pick her up. He had come back to her though, and she had sworn that she wouldn't leave anything to chance, but he was holding back now and she wouldn't expose herself to the embarrassment of admitting to feeling something he clearly didn't. However, he then agreed to be the father of her child. Why? He already had Parker he didn't need to have a progeny. She'd come to the conclusion that he'd done it because she'd asked him too. This became clear once he had his outburst about wanting to be involved. His brain tumour had interrupted any further conversation about this and now here they were. She didn't know what to say and now Booth's worried expression and her lack of response was causing him to come closer. She couldn't let him touch her, not now, even if it was only out of concern. Quick think!

'I'm fine Booth. I just…I haven't heard that in a long time.' She said it quietly. She didn't want the anguish of that statement to become obvious to Booth. She wasn't ready to face this, not now.

'I know you didn't mean you were _in_ love with me.' She half smiled at him and shrugged to illustrate the point that she'd taken it as light-heartedly as he tried to pass it off as. They'd hidden from each other's feeling for years. Why would it be any different now?

'So you're ok?' Booth was unsure and was desperate to have physical contact with her so he could reassure himself as well as her that nothing was going to change. Why did he have to open his big mouth and say that? He'd seen how easily her walls had come back up while he was recovering from the surgery. What possible explanation could he have for dropping this on her along with all the other things she was trying to compartmentalise? He looked at her but she was backing away slowly. She maintained eye contact but any chance he had of building on what he just said was gone now. She'd well and truly locked herself away from him.

'Booth I'm fine. Would you mind giving me a ride home?' Brennan wrapped her arms around herself in a vulnerable stance. She hated feeling exposed but Booth had surprised her and she was left with no escape route, other than to let him drive her home.

'Sure Bones' Booth said quietly and opened the passenger door to the Tahoe. She slipped inside, not even commenting on his alpha-male tendencies. This was bad, thought Booth as he shut the door.

The journey back to her apartment was uncomfortable. Neither of them spoke. What could they say? Booth had already admitted something he swore he'd never admit to her until he knew she was ready. He'd imagined it would come out some time after they had started dating at least, but this? What a way to frighten her off.  
Brennan was processing too. What happens now? How are we going to work together now that I know this? Come on Brennan focus. You work together that's all. Brennan nodded her head to demonstrate to herself that that was final. There was no need to fall apart over this. She just needed to distance herself from him for a while. His feelings were bound to change then. His emotions were probably due to the excitement of returning to work and the 'buzz' as he called it, of them working together as a close team. Right! From now on, no more late night discussions and take out. No more 'guy hugs' or other physical displays of affection. They were professionals and that was the way she was going to conduct herself.

'I can hear you thinking from here Bones.' Booth snuck a glance at her from the corner of his eye.

'That's impossible Booth unless I have a temporal lope dysfunction which would cause me to voice every thought running through my brain, which is highly unlikely or I'm sure you've noticed; given your excellent observational skills as an FBI Agent.' Brennan stated matter-of-factly.

Booth frowned and shook is head slightly, 'It's an expression Bones, I didn't mean literally.'

'Well maybe you should start saying what you mean. It becomes less confusing for everyone.' Brennan stared straight at Booth with a steely expression. The 'ice-queen' persona was back. Booth was shocked but the last comment had hit a nerve and he bit back,

'What's that supposed to mean?' Booth said in an affronted tone.

'It means exactly what I said. If you actually said what you meant then I wouldn't have so much trouble understanding you. Everything is a subtext with you, everything happens eventually, or …or ' The fury was evident in her voice as she stumbled over examples. Booth interrupted.

'Bones I said that to make you feel better. People do that when they're friends with someone. You can't just come right out with things you want to say all the time, you have to do it slowly.' He was trying to keep his anger in check.

'Why Booth? I don't understand. What's so wrong with coming out with what's on your mind when it's on your mind?' She asked innocently but her frustration was still present as her blue orbs bored into the side of his face as he watched where he was driving.

'Because you have to be mindful of how a person feels. You know that Bones, head and heart remember?' Booth was trying to coax her through her anger but he failed.

'I think telling the truth is more important than trying to placate someone to spare their feelings.' She was so wrapped up in the emotion that she hadn't realised that Booth had now stopped the car outside her apartment.

'Are we still talking hypothetically now Bones because I can't tell any more?' Booth's knuckles were turning white as he gripped the wheel and turned himself to face her with his eyebrows raised. He was determined not to blow up in her face, but she was pushing him hard. 'What have I allegedly lied to you about that has caused this U-turn?'

'What U-turn? I'm just the same as I've always been.' Her tone was steely.

'No, you're not. Two weeks ago I was lying in a hospital bed in a room you wouldn't leave and now, your withdrawing from me. Is it because I said…what I said? I told you it didn't mean what you thought and you said you understood.' Booth was struggling now. Who would have thought three little words would have caused such a catastrophic blow to their partnership. He knew she wasn't as ready as he'd like, but he didn't think he'd have caused this level of digression.

'I do understand. I understand that you're not being honest with me. Someone like you, who never says anything they don't mean wouldn't come out with that…that phrase without meaning it.' The tears were starting to burn the rims of her eyes now as she leaned in towards him.

'Ok Bones, is that what you want? The truth?' Booth said in a controlled manner.

'Yes.' She said a little too loudly for their surroundings.

'Ok.' Booth ran a hand nervously through his hair. He was hoping that this day would never come. He suddenly realised that by teaching her the difference between head and heart, he was now susceptible to her realising when he was lying. He took a breath as if to start talking but he opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. He might as well get it over with. 'The truth is I love you more than…more than I've ever loved any woman before.' Booth paused to gauge Brennan's reaction. She stared at him almost as if she knew that there was more. 'I…I haven't told you this before because I didn't want to scare you. I've spent 5 years with you now and I know that love isn't something you accept easily or even believe in. The last thing I wanted was to screw up our partnership. Your friendship means too much to me, but then…but then things happened on cases where I almost lost you, or, or you nearly lost me and I after the brain tumour I thought I better not wait and see if there was a next time. I told you and then I made it sound like it wasn't such a big deal so that it didn't become this big scary event for you. Yes I love you, but that doesn't change the dynamic of our partnership. You won't wake up tomorrow and find that anything's changed. I won't suddenly be trying to dominate you, demanding you spend all your free time with me, making you hold my hand, kissing you in public, or anywhere else or even asking you to marry me. I just wanted you to know that if anything else happened, you wouldn't wonder how I felt, you'd know that someone cared and that they wouldn't leave you if it was within their power.' Booth's shoulders slumped with the effort of his speech. Brennan chewed on her bottom lip, trying to process the mass of information Booth had just thrown at her. She stared down at her hands, fiddling with her nails, anything to take the attention off her. She knew she'd have to speak sooner or later but she just couldn't deal with it now. Sleep, she thought, that's what I need.

'Thank you for being honest Booth. I'll see you tomorrow, if we have a case.' Brennan spoke quietly and did not look at him. She quickly jumped out of the Tahoe and walked quickly towards the entrance to her apartment complex. Booth was stunned. He just poured his heart out, at her request and now she was just going to leave him hanging?

'Bones wait!' He called after her, but she appeared not to hear him, that or she was deliberately ignoring him. He wasn't going to let her off so easily. He raced inside and realised that she'd rushed to the elevator in an attempt to avoid him. Booth ran up the stairs to find her nearly at her door. He ran to her but she'd already got the door open and was already inside and about to shut the door. Despite her martial arts training Booth was still stronger than her. He paused momentarily before using that against her but decided that if he was going to get his answer tonight he needed to push the boundaries even further. He put a firm arm on the door. She tried to push harder against him but he was much stronger physically.

'Booth stop! Just let me go to bed.' She pleaded with him.

'No! Not until you start being honest with _me._' His brown eyes bore into hers like daggers. She had never been frightened of him before until now. There was something wild and unpredictable in his manner. Whatever she tried to elude him she knew would be pointless tonight. She released the tension in her arms and she sighed in defeat as the door swung open further to accommodate his entry.  
Booth walked towards her kitchen and helped himself to two beers. He handed one to her as he passed on his way to her couch.

'Start talking Bones.'

Brennan was wearing the 'deer in headlights' expression again. She wasn't prepared for this. What was she going to say? She knew that if he pushed for long enough and hard enough that he would get to the real truth. Her heart went cold at this thought. With a new resolve she took a deep breath and drew her eyes up to meet Booth's. She had to lie. She had to lie through her teeth (hypothetically speaking).

'Ok…'

**There we have it. This came to me after seeing the Season 5 promo. You lucky people in America get put out of your misery tomorrow with the premiere of Season 5. Enjoy!**

**Please R&R if you can.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Bones.**


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